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Whole Foods 2012-10-21

by Foodbitch 21. October 2012 07:30

John Mackey

Whole Foods Market, Inc.

550 Bowie Street

Austin, TX 78703-4644

Dear Mr. Mackey,

 On the 21st of October, Anno Domini two thousand and twelve, I shopped at your Chicago Gold Coast location. The experience left me incomplete.

I do not regard unreasonable to want a detailed, printed transaction history. I’m not the only one. Indeed, some merchants offer rewards for the omission of receipts. The employees at Whole Foods, however, regard this as a privilege and an encroachment on their time. Today was a startling example.

Attached are two receipts that I wanted reprinted. I cannot see the price column and this would prevent me from properly categorizing the purchases and checking your POS’s tax calculations. The manager who was summoned to assist said: “It’ll take ten minutes” and stood looking at me with the obvious intent of dissuading me from waiting. I replied: “What are you waiting for then?” That was not the reply he was expecting. But away he went – to the customer “service” counter and began to work. In the meantime, I pretended to be in line at a non-functional cash register and thoroughly amused myself as people began to line up behind me. I paid the gentleman back for his disdain with sarcasm and had he gotten any worse, I would have used the only weapon available to customers in this situation: the outdoor voice.

Anyway, I have attached the receipts. I hope you’re as amused as I am. Before you laugh this off, please know that my life is a case study in partially-repressed obsessive compulsion and I NEED these receipts for proper reporting. I bought $84.89 worth of apples in 2012 and can even tell you how much were Fuji versus Red Delicious. Depriving me of this materially affects my quality of life and causes me great stress. Your staff needs to be more understanding of this particular form of mental illness.




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FB is the CTO of an entertainment company and, these days, writes much more in prose than he ever wrote in code. Which is a good thing. Because people expect quality from code. Meal me:

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